And guess what? I don’t know who the sender is. Sure, there is a card attached, “signed.”

RENEE

APOLOGIES FOR THE CONFUSION

HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON

INAHAMANI

But who the hell is Inahamani? Female? Male? Or Animal?

One thing I’m certain is that there were quite a few people pissed me off (really bad) the last couple weeks, but having to receive this bouquet is a bit dramatic and puzzle to me. And I DON’T say it affectionately.

1. The card is not handwritten, therefore insincere.
2. They are all in capital letters, therefore rude.
3. Where the hell is the word ‘Dear’, therefore impersonal.
4. The sender has big ego, vague apology with zero stench of remorse.

This is what I read between the lines. The sender knows that he/she had done something despicable as he/she could not make himself/herself elaborate the cause of confusion, for fear I might relive the incident. Therefore, the sender stays as vague as possible (including the name) so I will forget the whole situation.

If the apologizer is really sincere, he or she would follow up with an appearance or at least a phone call. So I would know who the hell Inahamani is?

• If the sender is a male, he is an idiotic self-centered prick.
• If the sender is a female, she seriously needs a sex change and become a duck.

By the way, terrible choices of flowers. I hate Gerbera daisy and white roses. Whoever you are, you just got yourself into a deeper shit.

As a matter of fact, I favor a verbal apology over anything else. Cut the crap and be sincere. I will always accept it in a heartbeat, 99%!

Short breaks? Done that! Didn’t work.

Goof around? Done that! Didn’t work either.

Shopping therapy? Close. Does test drive a brand new car count? More on that later on.

Then I realize the reason why I feel my writing suck is because lately I’d been reading too many A-list blogs. The more I read, the more insignificant I feel.

I never thought of myself being an A-list blogger one day. Of course I have big aspiration where problogging is concern; but fame is not one of my top ten blogging goals. Or at least not in the next three years.

Anyway, catch up with you later!

Ladies, get a box of tissues ready, don’t say I never warn you!

Strongest Dad in the World

I try to be a good father. Give my kids mulligans. Work nights to pay for their text messaging. Take them to swimsuit shoots.

But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.

Eighty-five times he’s pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in marathons. Eight times he’s not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars–all in the same day.

Dick’s also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. on a bike. Makes taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?

And what has Rick done for his father? Not much–except save his life.

This love story began in Winchester, Mass., 43 years ago, when Rick was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs.

“He’ll be a vegetable the rest of his life;” Dick says doctors told him and his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. “Put him in an institution.”

But the Hoyts weren’t buying it. They noticed the way Rick’s eyes followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was anything to help the boy communicate. “No way,” Dick says he was told. “There’s nothing going on in his brain.”

“Tell him a joke,” Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a lot was going on in his brain.

Rigged up with a computer that allowed him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? “Go Bruins!” And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the school organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, “Dad, I want to do that.”

Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described “porker” who never ran more than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he tried. “Then it was me who was handicapped,” Dick says. “I was sore for two weeks.”

That day changed Rick’s life. “Dad,” he typed, “when we were running, it felt like I wasn’t disabled anymore!”

And that sentence changed Dick’s life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.

“No way,” Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren’t quite a single runner, and they weren’t quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then they found a way to get into the race officially: In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the qualifying time for Boston the following year.

Then somebody said, “Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?”

How’s a guy who never learned to swim and hadn’t ridden a bike since he was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick tried.

Now they’ve done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii. It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don’t you think?

Hey, Dick, why not see how you’d do on your own? “No way,” he says. Dick does it purely for “the awesome feeling” he gets seeing Rick with a cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.

This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best time? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992–only 35 minutes off the world record, which, in case you don’t keep track of these things, happens to be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the time.

“No question about it,” Rick types. “My dad is the Father of the Century.”

And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries was 95% clogged. “If you hadn’t been in such great shape,” one doctor told him, “you probably would’ve died 15 years ago.”

So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other’s life.

Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass., always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father’s Day.

That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy.

“The thing I’d most like,” Rick types, “is that my dad sit in the chair and I push him once.”

Here’s the video…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjPrL3n63yg

Written by Anonymous

Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.

Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

AT THE PARTY

HER BIRTHDAY

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER

YOUR PHYSIQUE

THE BIG QUESTION

COMMUNICATION

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH…….

There you have it, BOYS!

Limited Edition!!!

Grab one quick before they disappear from the shelves!!!

And if you don’t have GREAT sense of humor than you won’t enjoy what I’m about to say, because it will probably put you in an edgy position. However if you let it sink a little deeper, you’ll see the whole picture so much clearer.

Chat - It’s pretty well known fact that women tend to be chattier than men. Generally speaking, most husbands can put up with it for a while however your marriage can take its toll if your chattiness goes overboard. And to spice things up, gossip nonstop on phone and in public.

Be seen chatting to others while he…

• Gets home from work.
• Gets ready to go to bed.
• Watching his football game. Sit close to him and talk louder than the sport commenter.
• Reads his morning papers.
• Is with you in a corporate function.
• Is queuing up at the register counter in a grocery / hardware / electronic stores.

Intimacy – For decades, women have been giving this excuse, “Honey, I’ve a headache tonight” to avoid intimacy with their hubby. While this might put him off for a week or two but it isn’t enough to get him off your chest - so to speak. You have to be creative than this.

Before bedtime:

• Wear facial mask; more effectively if the mask is made of seaweed. Not only the smell is repelling, the color can even turn a white ghost green.
• Wear hair rollers on. Not just on the bang/fringe, but full head of rollers.

When pursued:

• “You just not that sexually appealing to me anymore.” Then sing this song!
• “It’s not appropriate because I’m seeing Brad Pitt (dream).” Then sing this song!
• “I don’t want to mess up the bed sheet.” Then sing this song!

Nag - From young we “hated” our mother for their constant nagging. As adult we still do. This is the best time to do your mother proud.

At home:

• “How many times must I tell you to lift up the toilet seat after before use?”
• “Can you please not fart in my present?”
• “Did you wash your feet?” right the minute he gets to bed.

In public:

Men hate to be told and nagged by WOMEN about their driving skill.

• “You are driving too fast, and it’s making me sick.” say it even he’s driving within the speed limit. Better yet when he is driving 20mph (30 kph) in a school district area.
• “Why can’t you park properly?” check to see the distance between the car and the marked white line on the parking lot are equally spaced. Then shoot him a killer look.
• “Why don’t I drive before we get completely lost?” As he started the car about to drive the kids to school.

Dinner - They always say that the best way to a man’s heart is food. And if you’re already a lousy cook, then you’ve accomplished 50% of your mission. And if you’re a great cook, needless to say, you’ve to turn yourself into a lousy one.

• Make all dishes tasteless by taking away salt, sugar and various sauce and herb you normally use.
• Prepare dinner at noon, preserve it in the fridge and serve it cold.
• Though he can preheat them in the microwave oven, but the dishes won’t taste any better without flavors.

Get acquainted – Husbands never like nosey / suspicious wives. Heck, wives never like to be questioned every piece of garment they bought be it the price or the practicality. Women react on emotions, Men act on logic. It’s time to turn the table around and be “logical” to check all his…

• Emails. Question non stop even if the email came from his mom.
• Mobile phone call activities and keep a record of all the activities
• SMS messages
• Pocket book
• Wallet
• Briefcase

Surprise appearances - Nobody like surprises, especially if they are unflattering.

• Appear in his office unannounced with shabby soiled clothes and no make-ups.
• Make yourself very available yet inhospitable when he is having a poker night with the boys. Serve Ginseng tea and marshmallow instead of beers and crackers. Constantly spray air freshener whenever one of his buddies lights up a cigarette or cigar.

Managing Funds – Most husbands entrust their wives with household expenses. Some lucky wives will probably have one to three credit cards for a little indulgence called side dishes spending.

• Don’t bother to balance cheque books.
• Write overdraft cheques, then deny for doing so.
• Max out his credit cards and his supplementary cards.

Shopping:

• Buy him thongs instead of boxer shorts. Do otherwise if he favors thongs.
• Buy his office wear shirts one to two sizes smaller. If his wears only a certain brand than get the brand that’s one grade higher. So when he made you return to the store for an exchange, is your second chance to max out his other credit cards. And if he decided to do the exchanging, you just give him an additional work to do.

Now the key here is to DO all of them day and night for a couple months. You should be able to see some results. Remember, NEVER put up a fight with him when he is about to blow.

If you still failed to drive him off the wall, after attempting all the above pointers, don’t fret because you’re most likely to be awarded “The best psychotic woman ever lived in history”.

By the way, if this list isn’t enough to drive you crazy, then head on down to Problogger and check the list writing competition.

This secret simply blew me away. I never thought “aluminum coated plastic bag” has more than one functionality. I usually use it as a mini trash bag for cooking. That way, fruit flies or any creepy crawlies won’t linger around my trash bin before I clear my bin in the evening.

Secondly, I think it’s an awesome idea to safe some unwanted resources which most people would discard them without second thought.

Without further ado, here’s how “aluminum coated plastic bag” comes into action.

Any aluminum coated plastic bag will do, it doesn’t have to be from Quaker.

There is plenty room for you to put any choice of fruits or vegetables in it.

Do not fold or seal the opening of the bag. Just leave the bag open and it will do the magic work for you.

After one week, the vegetables remain fresh. Amazing, isn’t it?

A close up shot of the vegetables, they are still very fresh without any dehydration!

Go have a try! I bet you will thank me for it!

Instead of throwing useful things away, reuse them, and you’ll be inherently joining the group of “Saving the Mother-Earth” Campaign.

Best of all, you are hitting two birds with one stone.

Having different opinions is never much a bother to me. Everyone has their right to air their views even a three-year child has to be respected to.

Just recently, one of my posts from another niche blog was heavily criticized by another blogger. Apparently, a few got “axed” to but mine got the special privilege. Well, this blogger wrote a lengthy post about my article and criticized relentlessly.

At the first read I was fueled with rage because she took my article totally out of context. After inhaling two deep breaths and one more read, I began laughing.

As I read between the lines, she was the one who is seriously needed help yet not realizing it. Poor She! And to make my day even better, this is what I found on the comment…

…I would like to say that I think Small Dogs Paradise is a pretty good site overall. I have read through some of the articles and have learned a few things about how to handle dogs. But, like I said, everyone is different, so I may follow their advise, or not. It is, after all, up to me.

Most of the time, I don’t rebuke. And if I do, most probably I didn’t inhale deeply and often enough.

A quote from Dale Carnegie

Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually make him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurt his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.

To defend myself in this situation would only make me just as childish as the blogger is. I’m so much intelligent than that. The thing is that the blogger is no longer on my list! Simple as that.

At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died!
But I’d spent so many years just waiting for a man that long,
That I grew strong,
And I knew that I could take you on…

But there you are, another lie,
I was ready for a Big Mac and you’ve brought me a French Fry!
I should have known that it was bullshit, just a sad pathetic dream,
Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those jeans!

Go on now - go, walk out the door,
Don’t you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4!
Weren’t you a brat to think I wouldn’t find you out!?
Don’t you know we’re only joking when we say size don’t count??!!

[Chorus]
I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life’s gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
with a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! …Hey! Hey!

It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud!
But to hell with your ego and to hell with all your needs,
Now I’m saving all my lovin’ for a cordless multispeed!

[Chorus]
I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life’s gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! …Hey! Hey!

For those who have been living in Singapore for sometime or remotely heard of us know that this tiny little island has a population no more than 4.5 millions living in an area of 683 sq/km (266 sq/ml)

How congested can Singapore roads get during peak hours? Let just say that it doesn’t warren enough time for me to reach out my hand to struggle someone by the neck during a traffic jam.

Does Singapore have the best road structure? I dare not comment much as I’ve seen better somewhere.

Are road signs easily located and seen by moving vehicles? Not only there many road signs but they are also many “predestination” signs on highways and roads. Either you are blind or drunk not to be able to notice them.

Tom T. told me that he’d rather had me retrieve sample machinery from the office than have his wife drive there. For he fear she might get lost through the narrow winding streets in the industry estate. That’s totally crap. The office building is less than 50 steps away from the main road and would be very difficult to miss with its tacky colors of paster blue, dark orange and stone white.

What’s even more absurb is that they have been living in Singapore for the last 5 years. If she’s able to drive around ShenZhen, China with no difficulties then how difficult can tiny Singapore get? If Tom T. would to tell me that she understands no English, then I might feel empathy for her but not enough to convince me of no way out of the situation. Whatever it is, please don’t tell me of this crappy excuse of getting lost in Singapore.